I met him in a crowded room
Where people go to drink away their gloom
He sat me down and so began
The story of a charmless man

Educated the expensive way
He knows his claret from his Beaujolais
I think he'd like to have been Ronnie Kray
But then nature didn't make him that way

Na na nana na, na na
Na na nana na, na na

He thinks he's educated airs
Those family shares
Will protect him
That we'll respect him

He moves in circles of friends
Who just pretend
That they like him
He does the same to them

And when you put it all together
There's the model of a charmless man

Na na nana na, na na
Na na nanana na na, na na

He knows the swingers and their cavalry
Says he can get in anywhere for free
I began to go a little cross-eyed
And from this charmless man I just had to hide

Na na nana na, na na
Na na nana na, na na

He talks at speed, he gets nose bleeds
He doesn't see
His days are tumbling
Down upon him

And yet he tries so hard to please
He's just so keen
For you to listen
But no one's listening

And when you put it all together
There's the model of a charmless man

He thinks he's educated airs
Those family shares
Will protect him
That you'll respect him

And yet he tries so hard to please
He's just so keen
For you to listen
But no one's listening

And when you put it all together
There's the model of a charmless man

Na na nana na, na na
Na na nana na, na na
Na na nana na, na na
Na na nana na, na na
Na nana na, na na
Na nana na, na na
Na nana na, na na na