Dm                 Am
  Now the show is done
Bb                      F
   I hope that you had    gut trembling
    A                   Dm
Or something resembling fun
                             Am
And if you watch this thing alone
    Bb
You probably didn't laugh
But maybe a few times
     F                  A
You exhaled out of your nose

Dm                              Am
   But if you hated it, that's fair
     C     Bb
But either way
Could you find a little more time
      F                A
For a parting questionnaire?

[chorus]
F
  On a scale from one to zero
A         Bb
  Are you happy?
F
  'Cause you're on your own from here so,
A         Bb
  are you happy?
F
  I'm open to suggestions
A         Bb
  Are you happy?
F              Dm
  But what the fuck kind of question is
A       Bb
  "Am I happy?"

[verse 2]
  F                       A
I really wanna try to get happy
Dm                          Bb
  And I think that I could get it
                   F
If I didn't always panic
                 A
Every time I'm unhappy like
Dm     Bb        F
  I'm owed some life
                        A
Where I'm always, like, happy
         Dm
Which is stupid 'cause
                Bb
I wouldn't even want it if I got it
     F             C        Bb       Bbm
Wait,  oh, God, my dad was right

[chorus]
F
  So if you know or ever knew how
A       Bb
  To be happy
F
  On a scale from one to two now
A         Bb
  Are you happy?
F
  You're everything you hated
A         Bb
  Are you happy?
F
  Hey, look, Ma, I made it
A         Bb
  Are you happy?