Em7  D/F#  G
Em7  D/F#  G
G

[Verse 1]
G                  Em7
It was a wonderful world
            D/F#     G
The picture tube was bright
G                    C                G
There was so much to do on a Saturday night
G                     D/F#
Plenty of talk during commercials
               Em7                 Cadd9
Sometimes even popcorn in bed

[Verse 2]
G                    Em7
I've been a model provider
         D/F#     G
You must admit to that
G                  C                          G
A lovely rented bungalow, two terrific little cats
G                         D/F#
Is there something that I might have missed?
                    Em7                 Cadd9
You haven't heard a word I've said

[Chorus]
          G                C
Since his penis    came between us
          G                C            Dsus4    D
Since his penis    came between us

[Break]
Em7  D/F#  G
G
Em7  D/F#  G

[Verse 3]
G                     Em7
I don't mean to seem angry
          D/F#      G
But I'm a bit taken back
G                        C                           G
What did you say his name was?   Oh my god, it's not Jack?
G                            D/F#
That scoundrel's gonna get a talkin' to
                Em7               Cadd9
tomorrow at the coffee machine

[Verse 4]
G                       Em7
It's always someone you know
         D/F#         G
In this case, my best friend
G                       C                                 G
How could he do this to me?  We just played golf last weekend
G                     D/F#
I've got news for Mr. So-and-so
                   Em7             Cadd9
He won't be teeing off with me

[Chorus]
          G                C
Since his penis    came between us
          G                C            Dsus4    D
Since his penis    came between us

[Bridge]
      Em
Let's play a little game:
      G                              G/F#                      C
Is it bigger than a bread-box?    Or shorter than your maiden name?
         C          Cmaj7/B
Is it as high as an elephants eye?
           Am
Is it like mounting some great white steed?
            Cadd9                    Cmaj7
I mean this thing you have for him
      G             D/F#
This, shall we say, need?

[Verse 5]
G                   Em7
Let's turn off the lights, love
    D/F#      G
It's time for bed
G                         C                              G
Oh look, there's Johnny Carson,  If you'd rather watch instead
G                                      D/F#
I'm glad that we could have this little talk
                        Em
Goodnight, and pleasant dreams, my love
Em